15 life lessons that help me lead better.

CRE Success Principle: Patience isn’t just about waiting; it’s about maintaining a good attitude while waiting.

After turning 45 last month, I sat down and reflected on the lessons that have shaped my life and leadership so far.

I came up with 45 of them, and I’m sharing those insights over three episodes of Commercial Real Estate Leadership.

This week, in episode 220, I’m continuing with lessons 16 to 30.

Some are personal: I talk about my morning ritual of getting coffee for my wife and how unplugging with a good show (like The White Lotus) helped me to take a proper break in the evening.

Others are professional: the value of your network, the importance of integrity, and why time management is really about managing yourself.

I also talk about how mentorship can reinforce what you’ve learned and why patience is not just about waiting but maintaining a good attitude while doing so.

These are all lessons I’ve tried my best to live by, and I’m sharing them not just as theories, but as real takeaways from my journey so far.

I hope they help you think differently, feel more grounded, or act in a way that supports your goals.

If one of them resonates with you, I’d love to hear about it. And if you missed the first 15, check out episode 219. I’ll wrap it up with the final 15 in episode 221.

Episode transcript:

I'm definitely not the most philosophical coach that has ever existed, but I am someone who is interested in being the best that I can be and helping others to perform at their best.

And with that in mind, rather than sharing a series of platitudes and philosophies, I just thought I'd share some lessons that I've learnt over my first 45 years of life in this episode.

Hello, welcome to episode 220 of Commercial Real Estate Leadership. I'm your host, Darren Krakowiak.

Thank you so much for joining us for another episode of the show. Really appreciate you deciding to share some time with us.

I know there's so many competing demands in your time, and the fact that you want to listen to me speak is, you know, I'm honored and I really appreciate it, and that gratitude that I'm showing for the time that you are willing to give is just one of the things that I'm going to be talking about.

Because, like I said at the top of the show, there are 45 lessons that I wrote down after my 45th birthday last month, and I'm sharing them with you in three episodes of the show.

We did the first 15 lessons last week, and we'll do another 15 lessons next week, which means we've got to get through 15 of them today and we are up to number 16. So, let's get right into it.

Number 16: Your network is your net worth

I know you've probably heard that before, but I think it's something that I've learnt and – it's been reinforced – the fact that I really need to cultivate having the right people around me and that perhaps some people that no longer serve me, should not be around me so often.

So, there is this saying that you are the average of the five people that you spend the most time with. And that might be true, but it's probably more like, “Who are the five people that you would want to be most influenced by?”

Just try and spend more time with them, and that should help elevate your average performance.

Number 17: Coffee is fantastic

So why would I say coffee is fantastic?

Well, I am not a modern husband when it comes to sharing 50% of the domestic chores with my wife. And I can tell you that the percentage that I do is quite embarrassing to admit.

However, one thing that I do commit to doing is to bringing my wife a cup of coffee, a barista-made cup of coffee from the coffee shop that I go out and get every single morning and give her a kiss, good morning, and give her the coffee, right?

So, coffee's like a magic potion. It allows me to make a contribution, which is relatively easy to do, but is not that difficult for me to do.

And I think coffee's also great because it's a social drink, it's one that you can have with others and – as long as you obviously drink it in moderation – it's a fantastic drink.

So, coffee is one that I wasn't a daily coffee drinker in the past, but I definitely now am, and I think it probably served me well to be a daily coffee drinker.

Number 18: Practice gratitude

As I mentioned at the top of the show. So, this is just about saying thank you more because kindness is contagious.

And I think when we are grateful for what we have, when we practice gratitude, it means that you have a bias towards appreciation for what you have, as opposed to a feeling of lack for what you don't have.

And I did share on an episode a few months ago about the GEM Journal that I got from reading the Resilience Project – GEM being gratitude, empathy, and mindfulness.

And, while I haven't been as consistent with writing in that journal as I perhaps would like to be or should be, whenever I have actually taken the time to write in the journal and follow the prompts, I've found some benefits that have come from that.

And I want to try, in fact, this is a good reminder for me right now to continue being more consistent with gratitude because I know that the benefits that come from that.

Number 19: A quick walk can clear the mind

So, taking regular breaks throughout the day is something that when I was working in corporate, I always went to the gym during the workday.

And I know that that might sound like a little bit naughty, but the company was definitely still getting a good deal from me in terms of the amount of output that I was producing and in terms of the amount of effort that I was putting in.

It was just that stepping away and resetting some perspective was something that helped me work even better.

And if it's not possible for you to go to the gym, certainly a quick stroll, just a quick walk to clear the mind, to get some fresh air, is something that is well worth the investment of time. You'll come back refreshed, better, and ready to go.

Number 20: Integrity is your most viable asset

You need to protect it and always try to do the right thing, right?

We get it wrong sometimes, and I think when you do, you've got to own it. Because if you can't even admit when you've done something that's not right, then how can you be relied upon to know what the right thing is to do?

So, keep in mind that integrity is your most valuable asset. And when I speak to clients about, “What are our most important values that you want to have reflected in the business?” It's usually something around integrity or trust, or doing the right thing.

And if we expect that of people in our team and people around us, of course, we also have to emulate that value and that behaviour as well.

Number 21: If you use social media to try and change people's opinions about controversial topics, the only thing that you'll end up changing their opinion on is what they think of you

And this has proven time and time again, whether it's during COVID or during elections, the idea that when you're fired up and you want to vent and share what you think about a topic, where some people think one way and some people think another way, you're not probably likely to change many people's opinions on that topic when you get in there and have your rant. But you will change the way that people see you.

And I think about, during election campaigns in particular, where I’ve seen some people come out and – even if I've agreed with what they've said – the fact that they've chosen to share that on a social media platform just makes me question their judgment and makes me sometimes change the opinion that I have of them.

So, remember, when you're trying to change people's minds on social media, perhaps stay away from topics which are more likely to lead to them changing their opinion of you.

Number 22: Adaptability is a secret weapon

And what that means is that we want to be willing to embrace change. Progress often requires change. If we want things to be better than they are now, then things might have to change.

So having a capacity, I guess, to change when circumstances require it. And also, being open to change and looking for opportunities to improve is a great skill to have. Being adaptable is definitely a secret weapon.

And you know, the saying, “If it ain't broke, don't fix it”, is kind of one which could hold you back from making the real progress that is possible.

Number 23: Time management is really self-management

So, we all get 24 hours in the day. And if you want to manage your time better, if you want to be more efficient, more productive – it starts with how you manage yourself.

It's really a matter of self-discipline. It's about how you hold yourself accountable to the way that you are spending your time.

I recently decided to be more accountable to my screen time, and I got my screen time down to an average of less than two hours a day.

And that was all about making sure that I was, you know – what gets measured, gets managed – so just tracking my screen time, but also managing myself and being really present to the fact that the time that I was wasting on my phone, on screen time, on things that weren't productive were basically taking me away from getting more of the things that I wanted done.

So, if you manage your time, you do that by managing yourself, and that's what helps you get more of the things that you want done and accomplished.

Number 24: Be a mentor

The next generation could use what you know. The other thing that's great about being a mentor, apart from, I guess, the satisfaction that comes from giving back and giving some of your time to somebody else, is that when you are a mentor, when you go through an exercise like this, just actually sharing some of the lessons that you've learned, it reinforces those lessons.

It serves as a reminder to you about what is important. And if you're able to impart knowledge to others, that shows that you have probably a level of mastery of that information. And that is the opportunity that can come from being a mentor.

And there are so many mentoring programs that are out there.

I mentioned before about the RACB club that I'm involved with where I am being mentored by somebody.

I've been a mentor in a corporate setting. I've been a mentor in the Property Council of Australia's mentoring program.

So many ways that you can be a mentor. And if you don't know how to be a mentor, well, first of all, be mentored, and then you'll learn the skills on how to potentially mentor others.

Number 25: You can't inspire if you are not inspired

So, if you are not feeling inspired, if you are not feeling excited about life, if you are not feeding your mind and reminding your mind about things that are, you know, inspirational, then how is it that you can expect to provide that inspiration to others?

And if you are in a leadership position, you might not think that you are or that you need to be inspirational, but certainly you need to create the environment and the conditions where people can find motivation.

And part of the way that people can find motivation is through the example that you set and the way that you are approaching things.

And the more that you find things that help inspire you and motivate you, the more that you'll be able to have people around you also find those same things.

And sometimes, there'll be things that inspire you that you can share with others, which will help spread some of that inspiration.

Number 26: Patience is not just about waiting, it's about maintaining a good attitude while waiting

Sometimes I used to think I was being patient when, if I could just wait for a period of time, and then when the thing that I wanted happens, I think, “Well, I was patient.”

But how was my attitude while I was waiting?

If I was fidgeting, if I was complaining, if I was getting all upset, getting worked up about the fact that I had to wait, well then, I wasn't actually being patient. Right?

So being patient is about having a good attitude while you are waiting. So, if you are a little bit impatient, one thing I could recommend is getting married and having kids.
That's helped me be more patient.

It's about, I think, just having a good attitude while you are waiting. That is what patience is about.

Number 27: The best time to start is yesterday. The next best time to start is now

So, when we think about investing, you always think, “I wish I'd done that yesterday. I wish I'd done that in the past.”

It's like that proverb: When was the best time to plant a tree 20 years ago? The next best time is today.

It's just saying that as long as we have a bias towards action, if we take the action today, we can't go back in time, but if we do it today, well then that's, you know, that's the best that we can do.

Recognising that things compound, we get all of the value that comes from what we do today. So have a bias towards action. And, and you know, that's one of the principles of investing, which leads me to:

Number 28: Investing in yourself is the surest bet you can make

So, investing in yourself, you are in control over what the return will be because you are in charge of the actions that you take from the investment that you make.

So, for somebody like me who used to be, and probably is still a little bit stingy or careful with my money – I’ve improved a lot in that area but there's probably still more than I can do – and one thing I really had to do was to be willing to invest in myself and to understand that there's less risk in investing in myself because I'm in control of the return that I can get.

Number 29: Learn to rest

And, take an extended break. Like I went away over the Easter break and we had the Anzac Day holiday as well, which, as you may have known, if you took three days off, three days of holidays, you got 10 continuous days off, given the weekends and the public holidays

What I did during that break, and actually took two weeks off, was that I also really unplugged from work during that period.

There was one client who needed my help during that period, which is fine, but otherwise I encouraged my client to take the break, and I pretty much took the break as well, and I felt so much better, right?

I had really more or less unplugged. And if you don't unplug, if you don't take some time away, I think it makes it more likely that you approach burnout, and burnout leads to quitting.

So, making sure that you've got time to work, to rest, and to play is important.

And, a little bit of advice, another way that I got myself to do this recently was: I do sometimes work after dinner, and I wanted to maybe stop or pull back on that.

So, I found a TV show that I really liked, The White Lotus, finally got into the White Lotus, and yes, that is a bingeable show.

So, there's plenty of good shows out there that you can watch. And, while I don't recommend spending hours and hours of your time in front of the television, if you're someone who's prone to a little bit of overworking, and maybe you think, “Hey, I need to give myself something to occupy my time.”

I think football, sport's good for that, but also The White Lotus was a bit of a TV recommendation that I could give. It certainly was right up my alley.

Number 30: Maintaining a positive attitude

So, when I started CRE Success, I released an eBook called the “Five Ps of Commercial Real Estate Success”, and those five Ps were passion, persistence, positive thinking, preparation, and professionalism.

And positive thinking was the one I wanted to highlight in this list because your attitude determines your altitude.

If you have a positive perspective, then you are more likely to see things in a positive way, and you're more likely to have that reflected in your life.

So as much as possible, having a positive attitude, seeing the glass as being half full rather than half empty, and looking for the opportunity in things is, I think, a fantastic attitude for you to have, particularly if you're in a position of leadership and if you're there advising clients.

Helping them see the opportunities and leading them to a better place is something that's going to serve you and also serve them well.

Now, if you enjoyed this list there are another 15 that I did last week. You can go back and check out episode 219.

I would love to know as well, send me a DM or a message on Instagram or on LinkedIn – we are @cresuccess, one word on Instagram. You can find me on LinkedIn, Darren Krakowiak.

Just tell me which one of these resonates the most with you and why?

And maybe tell me how you're applying it or give me some feedback on maybe how I can take this list to the next level by some more insights that you've got about some of these lessons. I would love to hear from you.

That is our episode for today. Thank you so much for listening. I will speak to you soon.